So I decided to begin Journalizing my newest journey with getting fit. I have many many reasons for doing this journey some are vain and some are for getting healthy/living long reasons... but in the end it will not matter why I have choose to take on the challange ... It will just matter that I did it.
I call this my newest Journey, because 7 years ago or so I lost 50lbs and was regaining control of myself and then got distracted, un motivated... not quite sure what happened but I went back to smoking and being lazy... I kept the weight off for about 2rs and then regained all the weight plus 13 more pounds in a little over 3 1/2 years - It was fun putting it back on ... but may this lesson of burning it off for the 2nd time teach me a lesson not to put it back on! I have since lost 23lbs from my highest weight ever... which is so high for me that I can not even face posting the number on here. I am embarassed even saying any of this... already thinking of who I am going to make sure doesn't get this blog address - and some of these people have been my biggest life supporters - Insanity... vain and silly. (And I am not allowing myself to do that either... to suceed I need to face my worst fears)
During this last year... though their have been some beautiful face pics after I began losing some weight... I can not find one body picture I will post of Facebook... Myspace... or even scrapbook with. I am ashamed, not because it is wrong to be heavy - I think some of the most beautiful women I have seen are heavy, but for me... I found I layed on my couch miserable - if I had a old friend come in town... it took everything within myself to go and visit my friend and then I would usually come up with an excuse and not go. One friend took my brother talking to me on the phone for about an hour... and they were someone I have loved since I was a teenager -then more friends I hadn't seen in years came in town and I couldn't face them. Recently another older friend came into town and only because I have begun my journey did I finally brave facing her (she was in town for weeks before I did)... This isn't something that they make me feel... its just something I make myself feel - which meant I was not happy! I am/was ashamed because a vain reason of looks keep me from being with my friends and making great memories... and that with a little effort (okay alot) I could change this all around... but I was perfectly happy miserable on the couch! - If you wonder why I was ashamed -> Looks (the weight (fat)) to me reflected how lazy I have gotten... so yes it was a little about looks -> but more about what they weight represents to me: LAZINESS! I will admit I have gotten LAZY! Lazy with cleaning (ohhh my Nanny would have kicked my butt sometimes if she came to my house -> NOT FILTH ... but messy just that I am being lazy mess!) Lazy with my clothing - I use to hang my bras and underwear (a little over the top) but I loved my clothing now that I don't like so much the stuff I have the option to wear shouldn't mean I treat my stuff with no respect -> But that is what I did! Lazy: Not doing my makeup or hair - What is up with that?!? I don't want to be seen because I am heavy so lets make it worse and not do my hair or make up -> Now I didn't look like the crazy bird lady... but really a little effort Cheri... Come on! And Lazy with my level of activity - Seriously I have watched way to much TV for any one persons good over the last few years! I stopped walking the beach -> I pay way to much Rent to live near the beach and now I don't go to it? What?! Insanity Cheri!!!! ... My poor dog has been so neglected with walks that she is even lazy now...We live in one of the most beautiful places on the earth ... trails to hike... beaches to walk... coves to explore... etc and yet I sit in my house -> That wasn't me 15 years ago -> You couldn't keep me in my house! I loved life to the fullest and I am so glad I am back to getting that outlook back on life.
So There is a little back up... I am starting the blog because I feel so passionate about this journey and I don't want to fill up my entire facebook with it, because I have so much always to say :-) So here is where I am going to journal... list favorite recipes.. journal my exercise routines and account for my bad days ... I feel so much like a dork... I can't wait to get some of that Sassy Cheri Self Esteem back :-) I want to be hear for all my friends and the journeys too
that is I want to be here for all my friends and hear about their journeys too... I want to hear more about your journeys too then just hear my same old ramblings :-) I know we are all working on many walks and areas of our lives. I am so proud of my friends and that we are all begining to claim our lives as our own :-)
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